


his palms r sweaty, arms heavy theres vomit on his shirt...yves machete x elly

by waterpots



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterpots/pseuds/waterpots
Summary: his palms r sweaty, arms heavytheres vomit on his shirt...yves machete x elly. hbd bro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	his palms r sweaty, arms heavy theres vomit on his shirt...yves machete x elly

**Author's Note:**

> stream drip on youtube and spotify and apple music and itunes and etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

today is elly's birthday. today is also portrait painting day. 

"howdy, pardner," says heejin. ever since she found out elly was from somewhere in the us, she's showed up every day to school in a full sheriff's outfit. to make him feel more at home at their art school on pluto. 

"howdy," he replies, "you eggcited to paint me, pardner?" he tips his obnoxiously large cowboy hat. he bought it after the first day heejin told him there warn't enough room in this town for two cowboys. he didn't want to make feel like an idiot, and besides, he kinda dug the whole getup. 

heejin was confused. "paint you? but i have another partner, pardner." 

elly's felt his face burn. god, how embarrassing…

hyunjin peeked in from the door. heejin told her to come in today and wear her fursuit. she saw two forlorn cowboys, hats held over their hearts. god, how embarrassing….

Hyunjin couldnt help but feel like she had come in on a truly horrifying scene, two forlorn cowboys like this. It was almost too much to bear.

"Well then who will be my partner?" Elly asked, because they were the only two people in this class and therefore he had no partner.

"He could always-" 

"No," heejin cut hyunjin off. "Its too dangerous."

"Ask someone wandering the halls."

"And anyway, shes too powerful to be summoned now. Also kim lip needs her to shred some old paperwork." 

By now elly was confused. Who could they be talking about. "Who are you talking about?" He asked.

"Yves machete," hyunjin answered.

Heejin gasped, while something started materializing out of the corner of elly's eye.

it was yves from loona! holding a machete! by the way, loona is just what heejin and hyunjin's friends call themselves, because yeah. 

"yes what is it bby" yves GROWLED, the alpha she was.

elly blushed. who was she calling "bby?" 

hyunjin gestured to him. "this guy needs a partner for portrait painting."

"why would i ever fulfill a request of yours?" yves SNARLED, slowly dissolving, presumably back to ms. lippington's to finish shredding that paperwork. 

with an YVES MACHETE! from hyunjin, she snapped back to her solid state. "what?" 

"h-howdy…" said elly shyly. "would u be my pardner today...i would love to paint a pertrait of you"

yves SCOFFED. "this has nothing to do with yves machete. i have no reason to be here." she began to dissolve again.

elly grabbed her half-solid wrist. "no wait!" he pleaded. "ah do need yer machete…" for what? he looked around frantically. "...ah realized ah don't have an easel to paint with." good thinking, elly!

yves now beamed with pride, only revealing her two bunny teeth. "well...building an easel takes a great deal of craftsmanship...i guess you called the right person." 

yves stroked her machete.

"we shall venture into the forest together. i will show you how to form your easel."

and with that, they marched out of the classroom, leaving one forlorn cowboy and an annoyed furry.

The forest was large, and dark, with many large trees overhanging and making it very dark, with little sunlight, on account of how dark it was.

“ah reckon you don’t got a lot down town for lockin got.” elly said.

“What” yves asked, and elly just shrugged. 

“okay so what do we do?” he asked.

“first we have to cut down a tree. This is a good one,” yves said, and approached a very large very menacing looking tree. Do trees look menacing? This one does.

“How will we do that?” elly asked, and Yves waved around her machete.

“I have a machete.” 

Just as she was beginning to cut down a tree, yves started to dematerialize. She was being called away by another member of loona!TheFriendgroup. 

“How will i ever see you again,” elly gasped, watching yves dematerialize. Yves opened her mouth to respond, but it was too late. Elly was left alone in the forest. Without an yves machete, and without any clue how he would get out of here.

thump! elly heard behind him. he spun around, gun subtly out of holster. 

"haha," the voice tittered, "it looks lahk you came prepared."

what little light that reached through the trees struck...an obnoxiously large desert eagle.

ellys throat hitched. "nancy gun…" he whispered hoarsely.

he touched the tree behind him. maybe she would help him with the easel?

"nancy gun," he said again, louder so she could hear him, "could you help me cut down this tree?"

nancy let out a singular, powerful chuckle from deep within the diaphragm. "me? help you? do you think ah'm lahk that yves machete girl? ah cannot be commanded simply by my name." she approached him, twirling the gun around her trigger finger. unfortunately, that is not how one twirls a gun, and elly felt himself hit the ground.

A large shadow loomed in front of him, and he gasped. “Yves machete,” he whispered.

Yves machete had pushed him back out of the way, deflecting nancy’s bullet with the power of her machete.

“how dare you handle a gun so carelessly in front of a tree to be used as an easel,” yves machete said. “youre soiling the sanctity of trees and nature, and I won’t let that happen!” yves machete struck a familiar pose. “I am yves machete, and in the name of my machete, i’ll punish you.”

Nancy chuckled darkly, in a way that is very dark. “You think you can defeat me,” nancy said. “I am bound by no law, and you are bound by the laws of your machete. Soon you’ll be called away, and i’ll have my revenge.”

“Not likely!” a voice chimed in, and all three were forced to crane their necks to look up the large tree yves machete was planning to cut down. “Not while i’m here!” it was gowon, one of yves friends, standing in the trees, with a large cape billowing behind her.

“What the fuck,” elly whispered. “How am ah going to get my portrait assignment done now?” but it was no use, the battle had begun, between yves machete….and nancy gun. 

"elly," nancy said, turning her head towards him. "just know that ah...ah love yuh--" she crumbled under the force of yves machete hacking into her arm. "oh man"

nancy fell to the ground, yves machete standing over her. her orbs were cold, as cold as her machete. 

she raised her machete to deliver the final blow, when--

"stahp!!"

all heads turned to elly. "don't hurt her, please. all ah wanted was an easel, and ah'm not quaht sure what she wanted, but ah never meant to let it go to this!!"

what a kind heart, thought yves machete, and for a moment, her cold, metal, machete-shaped heart softened into a soft, metal, machete-shaped one. 

but to no avail. a red rose struck her chest, and nancy laughed evilly to take out yves when suddenly her chest was struck by a rose, as well. 

"my job here is done," said a voice above whom elly assumed to be gowon, "adieu."

“yves machete,” elly whispered. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s okay,” yves machete said. “I won’t die.”

“But the rose…”

“It’s okay. I don’t have a heartbeat,” yves said.

“What kind of absolute garbage dumbass fire emblem bullshit is that?” nancy gun growled from next to them.

“The absolute garbagiest dumbass fire emblem bullshit there is,” yves answered. “I was cursed by a witch who lives in this forest. She should be able to save us now.”

“We haveta go to her,” elly said. “Ah can’t have the two of yas dying on my behalf and all, as nice as it is of yous to do that.” 

“She’s that way,” yves machete said, and then pointed down, not because the witch lives in the ground, but because she’s been stabbed by a rose, and she’s maybe just a tad perhaps out of it. “But whatever we do we can’t mention the easel. She doesn’t want us cutting down the trees in her forest.” 

“Ah see,” elly said, and helped nancy gun to stand. Yves machete mader her machete very long (because she can control the length of her machete) and used it as a crutch to walk along. 

They walked a distance before coming on a triangle shaped house in the forest.

“This is it,” yves machete said. “The home of the witch who cursed me, hyejoo.”

“Olivia hye!” a voice boomed from behind them, and all three turned in shock.

An old 19-year-old girl wearing a witch's hat stepped out of the shadow behind them. "you called for me?oing" 

she walked around to the front of them. recognizing yves, she became enraged.

"i called for you several times!! yves machete!! where were you?!oing" 

nancy gun tugged at yves machete's sleeve. "are you sure this is a good idea…" she asked.

suddenly, nancy began coughing up gallons of blood. gallons and gallons, it never stopped! 

but olivia hye needed an answer from yves machete. "where were you,oing" she demanded again. they began an intense staring match, where they stared into each other's orbs resentfully.

finally, yves broke. "i was busy shredding kim lip's paperwork."

"for 3 years?"

"yeah."

olivia hye nodded pensively. "i'll take it. i understand she's been getting herself in and out of cults a lot recently." she beckoned the three into her triangle-shaped house. 

they settled in her cozy little living room, the walls covered with at least 3 layers of blurry pictures of gowon with a cape.

nancy was bleeding so much, she was thrashing at this point. "ma'am, please stop her bleeding" elly had to say to get her attention.

olivia got up from her chair to the corner of the room, where she inserted a tape to an obnoxiously large boombox. "this is my magic song," she explained, now walking over to nancy gun. elly found the intro of the song extremely pleasing to the ears. "what is this song?" he inquired. 

“Drip by Hinapia,” olivia explained. The power of the song was immense, and nancy gun immediately stopped coughing up gallons and gallons of blood. This was good, but there was still gallons of blood everywhere from what she had already coughed up. Thankfully none of it got on olivia’s many photos of cape!gowon. Otherwise it would have spelled disaster for our three folks who i guess may well best be considered heroes.

“What about yves machete’s wounds?” elly asked, because he was worried for the machete-wielding fiend. 

“I’m fine,” yves machete said. “My machete healed my wounds.” and so it was true, perhaps. Or perhaps she was lying. We do not know. We are not privy to such information. “But i need you to make me not yves machete anymore.”

Everyone gasped, especially olivia, who had not expected such a request. “Why?” she asked. “Do you not like your machete?”

“Well,” Yves said, glancing over at elly for only a second. But it was enough for nancy to gasp again. Elly, however, didn’t understand. “I have other things i must do.”

“Other than whatever the members of loona tell you to do?”

“Yes. other than that.” yves said. 

Olivia nodded very sagely, her mouth pulled into a triangle-like frown of contemplation.

“Fine.” she said, finally. “I will grant you your request. But first, you must do something for me.”

“Anything,”yves said.

"i need you to make an easel for me," said olivia, "i've been wanting to paint a portrait of gowon for a while now."

yves hesitated.

"it will be your last task as yves machete," olivia explained. 

"so you're okay with me cutting down a tree?" asked yves. 

"yes"

"what the fuck" said elly. "ah came to this forest to build an easel for my portrait painting class."

"so now you get to build an easel" said olivia hye.

"can ah use the easel?" 

"no"

"what the fuck"

but they complied. so off into the forest they went to build an easel but not for elly.


End file.
